Being in my mid-twenties, with two children under 5, a long-term relationship, bills to pay, unsure of my career future, hopeful for a brighter future, going to therapy with plans to go to counselling, more notches on my bedpost than I care to admit and definitely too many drunken nights than I’m able to remember…
I think it’s safe to say there are a lot of things I’ve learnt along the way that school definitely couldn’t have prepared me for!
These are the top things I would tell myself and anyone else at the tender age of 16 because school just doesn’t prepare you for real life as much as living life actually does:
- Men will come and men will go. Let me rectify this: boys will come and boys will go. The man for you will stay once you show him that you’re the female he’s been missing his whole life because men actually need that subtle help and direction only a woman can bring.
- You may or may not regret drunk sex later in life but there is only one way to find out. If you do regret it, don’t worry – worse things could happen.
- Your body will change but that’s okay. Before, you had the body of a girl. Now you have the body of a woman. You can work to make it what you want or you can love it as it is. The choice is always yours.
- Periods don’t get better with time and childbirth won’t make you find them any less painful. They suck, full stop. Eat chocolate and bananas, embrace your hot water bottle, dance or do some yoga (I know it sounds like a nightmare but you will feel better after!) and try not to act like a hormonal, drama-prone nutjob. It will cause arguments with the other half which could easily be avoided.
- You don’t need an epidural (because you’re a badass with a higher threshold for pain than you can even imagine – I’ve done it twice naturally) and being induced is something you can handle, even under pressure and with minimal sleep. But childbirth is stressful and painful and will make you cry in frustration and fear and pain.You might want an epidural and all the drugs they can give you. You’re still a badass because you carried a child in your body and got it out. Men can’t ever top that. Trust me!
- Some people regret tattoos – I’m not one of those people. They sting a bit but I love my tattoos and definitely will want more. Make tattoos worth the time, money and skin space and it’s unlikely you will regret them because they will always mean something to you!
- Your hair needs to be loved (Something that has taken 25 years for me to learn). So does your body. And your mind (especially your mind!). Learn to love your whole self so you can grow, inspire and love others.
- If you’re happy, remember everything that makes you happy – no matter how big or small it is. If you’re not happy, you can be happy. Go to therapy and counselling as many times as you need to find your happy. It will be hard and at times, it will be painful. You will cry even though you really don’t want to. But you will feel much better for it and be able to live a life you’ve craved since forever (or whenever you stopped being happy).
- Exercise. Your mind needs it more than your body but your body will thank you too. Do the things you love to make it something you love: swim, boxing & dance workouts do it for me. Jogging, basketball and pilates might do it for you. Take the time to find out and then make it happen as much as you can.
- Kids are hard work. I had them before I was mentally ready but they are worth it. Count those beautiful blessings every day because some people don’t get that opportunity; some people lose that opportunity (God Bless all the beautiful babies gone too soon and their parents) and other people are plain evil.
- You don’t need somebody else to be valid. You are valid and amazing all by yourself. This counts for jobs too – you don’t need a boss to be amazing. If you are able, go ahead and be your own boss. Never forget that. Never limit yourself.
- I know you think you can’t wait to grow up – trust me you can. Enjoy your life free of bills, responsibility and all that adult stuff while you can. Once it’s gone, there’s no going back. Live!
- Money is fun right? Wrong. Money is stressful, hard to come by, not worth enough and doesn’t go to the grave with you. Don’t kill yourself trying to be a millionaire. Don’t drop out of school to get a job unless it’s what you really want. Money makes life 100x more stressful than you ever could imagine so just leave that to your parents while you can.
- Have as much fun as possible. It will help you be happy, stay young, eliminate stress and help with your health. Smile, dance, run, play, experience, love and enjoy life. It doesn’t last forever but it can be the best life you ever lived.
I know some of those points maybe sound a bit negative but they’re not. All of this is said with a smile on my face because writing this post has even helped me to see some of what my life itself is missing and a few things I can definitely work on!
Live, Learn & Never Stop Laughing.
If you’ve liked this post, or any others, please don’t forget to click to subscribe on the left hand side! You might also like this post on being an Attention Whore or these Tips On Getting Motivated when life gets you down!
You can also find me on Twitter and BlogLovin.