Insomnia

Tonight is a terrible night. 

I have been in bed since 10pm trying to sleep. I was awake at 11.45pm when Mr Me got home from work. I was awake at 1.45am when Mr Me fell asleep (when I started writing this). 

It’s just started to rain and it sounds lovely but my mind just won’t turn off. 

I’ve thought about jogging, swimming, music, a new house, trying to go to sleep, trying not to check the time, being diagnosed with cancer, being diagnosed with a liver problem, being diagnosed with nothing at all but worrying about my health until then (thanks anxiety)

I’ve listened to my headspace meditation, I’ve listened to bedroom r&b, I’ve listened to my usual jazz for sleep which normally works a treat – I’m still awake. 

I’ve wondered about sleeping pills knowing how addictive they can be. 

I thought listening to Mr Me sleep was the comfort I needed to sleep. I’m still awake. I just wanted to have an early night to try and have just one day where I don’t wake up feeling exhausted, exist feeling exhausted, need to nap and then end up all night. 

I just don’t want to be tired anymore. Chronic fatigue is a real thing and I don’t know if this is that. All I do know is I want to sleep at a decent time, wake up at a decent time and not feel like I need another 24 hours sleep for the rest of my day! 

This sucks. That’s all. 

Comments

  1. I really feel for you. I occasionally have nights like this where sleep eludes me despite feeling tired. I have no words of widsom unfortunately – I just try to relax and rest my body and try to avoid napping the next day so as to get a solid night’s sleep the following night. Mindfullness techniques help to stop that anxious ‘if i fall asleep now, I’ll get 2 hours 11 minutes sleep’ type thoughts – i visualise a calm environment where I am tired but content and allow myself to feel the tiredness and not be afraid of it – it helps ne to stop panicking that i’ll be useless and unproductive the next day.
    I hope you sleep well tomorrow.
    Jen
    Lifeandothertalesofwoe.blogspot.co.uk

    1. Unsigned, Emmie says:

      Well last night was the same – didn’t sleep until after 3.30am and only woke up this morning because my friend stopped by on her way to work.

      I’ve been trying mindfulness as well but will try your version and see if it helps. Napping in the day definitely isn’t helping but I struggle to get through the day if I don’t!

      Emmie xo

  2. Adele Miner says:

    I can definitely relate to this.. insomnia is the worst! You have such a lovely and inspiring blog here, keep up your amazing work it is paying off! x

    adelelydia.blogspot.com

    1. Unsigned, Emmie says:

      Thank you hun.

      Emmie xo

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