When All I Want To Do Is Sleep…

If you’ve ever been depressed or suffered with anxiety (and I don’t know what else) then you may have experienced chronic fatigue. It is not a joke nor is it fun. You can sleep for hours and wake up tired or you can get a minimal amount of sleep and be tired but the bottom line is – you’re tired constantly. 

Every day is a battle with yourself to get shit done, even the most basic shit, like get dressed or do your hair or feed the kids or don’t go back to sleep… no task is easy because it all requires so much effort and willpower that just living is hard work. 

To top it off, one of the side effects of my new medication is tiredness and lack of concentration alongside some other things that guarantee I want to do nothing. Not a damn thing.

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But they all sound so fun! (–__–)

So today, I am proud of myself because I forced myself out of bed and decided I was taking the kids out so we went to the local playground at 10am before coming home for snacks and Mini Me 2s naptime.

Then I wanted to sleep so bad. I could have. It would have been so easy but I fought the urge and got ready for the day part 2 – a trip to a different park at 2pm.
We left around 4pm and I bought ice cream, bought nandos, carried bags AND Mini Me 2 upstairs (he literally was too tired to climb and he tried) then brought the buggy up (we have no lift). I’m due to pass out when the kids are in bed in approximately one hour.

I’ve been out of the house more than I’ve been in it today and I’m exhausted but proud of myself too. I know today was a good day and they won’t all be good days but I can keep trying for the kids if not for myself because I know I will get there, one day at a time.

Not a long post today or a specific theme or purpose – just a post for myself to get things off my chest and feel good about today.
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Comments

  1. laugraeva says:

    That’s amazing! I can’t even begin to imagine the pressures of looking after your own children when feeling so tired from mental illness. It was a struggle enough for me to leave my duvet, mostly because it felt like the safest place to be.
    You should be really proud of yourself!
    xo

    1. Unsigned, Emmie says:

      Thank you! I know some people might read and not understand because to some tiredness isn’t something that ever stops them but it is such a serious thing when suffering from mental illness. Thanks for commenting.

      Emmie xo

  2. Thanks for sharing and I am loving the logo image. Insomnia has claimed me over the last couple of weeks. and it is not an easy thing.

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