“I really don’t like people”
Have you ever seen a tweet or Facebook status along these lines and wondered what led to such a feeling?
We live in a world full of people that we come into contact with every day – either in person or via technology so how is it possible to not like people but survive daily life?
Well, I don’t have the answer but I do know that there are plenty of people I love but don’t like (at the moment). I woke up in a good mood today but I can’t tell you why it didn’t last. All I know is I am pissed. Restless. Irritated. And people are to blame. Especially my family who I unfortunately have no choice in.
Let’s start at the beginning:
- My Mum: This is a long-winding story which needs it’s own post but I think my feeling of dislike for my mum started a few months ago. She overcompensates for past mistakes; parents one grandchild but neglects to see the other 5; rarely asks me how I am and I feel like she isn’t fond of me anymore. I know it’s because I’m too opinionated and less likely to accept the bullshit that comes with my family. But I wish she would just say it how it is rather than avoid me or tell me some pathetic excuse about why she hasn’t come to see us since October 2015.
- My older Sister: My older sister is like my best friend at times and at other times, she’s completely non-existent. She just disappears off the map as soon as her life has enough people in it to keep her company/sane – whichever she needs at the time. Right now, she has the Mini Me’s swim suits at her house and I need them for tomorrow – I wanted to collect them this evening but she’s managed to forget to contact me. I just want my shit. Is that too much to ask? I’ve been asked for a good few days now with no response. Let me live please!
- My “best-friend”: I’ve mentioned this female before on Twitter and in this blog post about Self-Worth. I’ve accepted she is a sometimish person and that is something I either have to live with or let go of. Right now, I am ready to let go of it – I need stability in my life and I am so fed up of people letting me down. It will sound sad but this girl is the only person outside of my family who I count as a friend and I’ve known her since I was about 12. I try to not take her actions personally but we all have shit going on and I don’t know why I should be around for her shit when she’s never around for mine. Fuck that – but I want my running shoes back!
- The friends I don’t have: I don’t know if it’s because my life has always been a mess or I just haven’t met the right people or I am the person who isn’t right but I have no friends. I have obviously made friends in school and college, in jobs etc but for some reason none of these friendships really last or blossom into the kind of friendships everybody else seems to have. Considering my family are so disappointing half of the time, that leaves me with zero friends. No-one. And for that, I don’t like the people who didn’t keep in touch because now I am a loner.
- Myself: Because I wish most of these things didn’t bother me or make me feel so shit. I wish I was happy enough and confident enough to let all of this shit go and enjoy the now with the people I do have who love me. I will work on it though.
Yes, tonight I am ranting because I can. I think we all have days when we don’t like people for one reason or another – I just try to get my feelings off my chest in the hope I can let it go.
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