It was Mr Me’s birthday yesterday (Happy Birthday if you ever read this one day!) and so in honour of him, I polled whether to write a post about our crazy relationship and my Twitter people said yes, so this is it!
This post is all about some of the worst & best bits as well as how I have managed to survive (because it’s all about survival if we’re being honest lol).
Mr Me is my other half who I’ve been with (again) since January 2013. He’s a budding youth worker-epic DJ-lover of dancehall/bashment music.
Girl meets Boy in 2005, both in our mid teens. I want to say we fell in love somewhere between 2005 and 2006, but the truth is even though we said “I Love You” neither of us had any idea of what that entailed or how deep it would go. We “fell out of love” in 2008 after much drama, tears & 2 pregnancy terminations but we still had a lot of love for each other – we just didn’t know what to do with it.
During the time of that initial relationship, I cheated a lot. I can’t say I know why & I can’t say it was just because I was young. My life at home was a mess, my mind was just as bad & I was obviously a very lost soul. Mr Me is a flirt & couldn’t help but talk to a lot of other girls during the course of that relationship, including his ex which caused massive drama but he never physically cheated on me, unlike myself. To top it off, what did we really know about pregnancies or terminations and all the grown up feels that go with that?
So we seperated in December 2008 when I found out he had another girlfriend & had forgotten to let me know. Between 2008 and 2011 we spoke on & off and pretended to be friends sometimes & enemies at others. We dated other people, made new friends and got some shit out of our systems. In 2011, we went on holiday together randomly & I got pregnant with Mini Me 1 – a DNA test confirmed she was indeed his daughter. It was all so unplanned & quite messy and it took us until January 2013 to get our shit together… and we fell back in love all over again!
I lived in blissful happiness until in November 2013 when we suffered a miscarriage for an unexpected pregnancy we had just come to terms with and begun to plan for. I then realised Mr Me hadn’t changed as much as I thought as I found out he was once again talking to other ladies inappropriately. The trust was broken and I was heartbroken. But we didn’t handle anything properly – the miscarriage or the issues in our relationship – and tried to just move forward. This was one of our biggest mistakes.
By February 2014, we were blessed again with Mini Me 2 although realistically, the timing couldn’t have been worse. There was no trust, we argued constantly, we fell out and we probably hated each other once or twice. I can honestly say the only thing that kept us together then was the pregnancy and I have no idea where we would be now if I hadn’t of been pregnant. I’m okay with that knowledge.
Since then I have been pregnant again twice (once I was on the coil & chose to have a termination) & once again this year which resulted in another miscarriage. I’ve considered leaving him & he’s considered leaving me. I’ve overcome PND and I’m now dealing with anxiety & depression. I’ve worked full-time and then stopped working again. We have struggled financially, emotionally and physically but we are still together and I love him more than I ever knew possible when we met for the first time in 2005 – I didn’t even think he was attractive when I first met him to be fair!
We are so far from perfect but it’s real life and it’s us. Mr Me knows me inside out and is normally always able to help me when I need it. He’s my best friend & I can’t imagine life without him – it would be like a part of me was missing. We still have our ups and downs (obviously) but we are growing and learning and trying to do things properly for the sake of everyone involved.
His socks still smell bad enough to make me look for a shitty nappy that’s been left somewhere and he still tries to talk to me while I’m trying to take a dump. I’m still the person who talks the most nonsense when I’m fighting sleep and says some of the most obvious things known to mankind when they don’t need to be said at all.
But somehow, we work and this is the ultimate relationship revelation. It’s not about being perfect – it’s about finding someone who loves your imperfect and finding the perfect balance!
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