I love reading but it took me many years to get into reading self-help books. I used to get ignorant, annoyed or just plain frustrated because I didn’t like reading about how I was getting things wrong… and the thought of trying to change that habit? Shoot me now. But over the last few years, I’ve slowly opened my mind to self-care and these are some of the top titles on my Kindle bookshelf.
- Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov: This was the first relationship book I ever read and I still love the principles it teaches. Obviously, the title might offend some but once you read it, you understand the term bitch is used to describe the woman who knows what she deserves and makes sure she gets it. No, it doesn’t make us bitches but the title will catch your attention.
- The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman: This is a book I’m currently reading as a recommendation from a friend. I’m hoping it can help me to communicate better with Mr Me before I give up and end it all. We love each other but we definitely fall short on communication.
- Happy for No Reason by Marci Shimoff: Who doesn’t want to be? Although it’s a relationship book, you can apply these principles even if you’re single and learn how to be happy just because.
- Was It Something I Said? by Jess McCann: A book of the most asked relationship Q&A’s from “How do I get him to stop checking his phone” and “How much should I reveal on a first date?” to “What do I say in my (online) profile?” and “Why does he say we aren’t in a relationship?”. An interesting read even if the answers don’t fit everybody.
- Deal Breakers by Bethany Marshall: Written by a psychoanalyst who helps women with their relationships, this is a book full of situations and scenarios that are either deal breakers in a relationship or something that can be worked on. “There are countless clues… for instance, whether or not her guy is motivated enough to make the changes that she needs… whether or not the problem is too serious to be fixed… and whether or not she is able to see the situation clearly.”
- When The Past Is Present by David Richo: All about dealing with things from the past that are affecting your future – especially your relationships. Written by a psychotherapist, it’s a good insight into how we want to move on from the past but tend to go through our lives using transference unconsciously; and more importantly, how we can change that.
- The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle: Not for those with a closed mind as soon as they see the words “surrendered”. I love this book. It shows me how I can let go of some of the control I constantly fight to have, at the detriment of my relationship, to allow my man to be a man. This isn’t about being submissive. “…control and intimacy are opposites. If I want one, I can’t have the other. Without being vulnerable, I can’t have intimacy. Without intimacy, there can be no romance or emotional connection. When I am vulnerable with my husband, the intimacy, passion and devotion seem to flow naturally.”
- The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz: A book based on the ancestral wisdom of the Toltec people and spirituality. “While it does embrace spirit, it is most accurately described as a way of life, distinguished by the ready accessibility of happiness and love.” Maybe not for those who don’t believe in God. Could possibly be seen as slightly blasphemous also.
Do you have any favourite self-help books? Share the titles in the comments!